What if Dec. 21, 2012 was just another day with the exception of unseen subtle energies added to the earth’s field that we could voluntarily take advantage of?
What if these energies were simply the gift of a new-found ability to comprehend the true meaning of UNITY? Of true ONENESS? The ability to sense our part among every living thing, plant and person in the universe?
What if I told you that along with this sudden new awareness (or consciousness) there came a little price? A small bit of obligation?
And what if this obligation was simply the responsibility of having to re-develop, dream, re-vamp, create with others (co-create) a new and better life for ALL?
One in which all can co-exist peacefully? Where only positive can exist? Where all are looked after, everyone’s basic needs can be met and all life, as we know it, can live harmoniously with Mother Earth?

It’s time to MAKE A CHOICE.

First of all, if any of this ends up being true, are you someone who would be willing to participate or enjoy taking part in these new energies that will be within easy reach?

And if so, will you be ready and willing to be a CO-CREATOR in the upcoming Golden Age? Are you willing to play a positive role on a larger scale to create a world based on such unity consciousness? Maybe you aren’t sure what this means? Maybe you aren’t ready to accept such responsibility or you don’t feel the need to be a part of a universally conscious thought stream… so these are things to ponder.

I ask you to make a choice, be it conscious or by tapping into your sub conscious, and decide on or by July 17th of 2010.  On this date a world wide event will be held (have you heard of Harmonic Convergence that happened back in the 80′s? This is like the capstone of an additional Convergence event).  And it is on the 17th & 18th that those who are ready will be making their declaration of their decision to the universe. (You can make your declaration to the universe at any time, but it’s more powerful when people, in numbers, do this in prayerful meditation.)

To read more about that, making the choice and the Convergence, please visit: http://www.lightparty.com/Spirituality/SecondHarmonic.html          and http://www.calleman.com/content/articles/ninth_wave.htm (about half way down)

“A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive.” (Albert Einstein, 1954)

Dancing Shiva (Nataraj) with Ganesh

I love this picture. Little Ganesh is so cute dancing with his daddy. Such joy. Life is a dance!

Here is a part of a blog I wrote on Jan 1, 2010: …”

At midnight I was meditating and thinking of wonderful energies, thoughts & intentions for family, friends, civilization and the earth. Not long after that, I felt aware of a wonderful peacefulness settling over me.

It was a feeling of HOPE. It felt like it was representative of the people of the earth as a whole. I would venture to guess that many people, in their thoughts for the coming year had hopes and intentions for life to become more harmonious… and this is as simple as I can explain it and will leave it at that….”

Here is what I just read from another blog:   “The New Year of 2010 was the most significant New Year we have experienced in millions of years.  The Company of Heaven chose to expand all our Divine prayers and intentions one-thousand fold!….So, because of this Lunar Eclipse (the Blue Moon), our focused intentions were expanded exponentially by the tremendous influx of Light coming in……Two weeks later, this event was followed by an incredibly powerful New Moon Solar Eclipse.   There will not be a solar eclipse of this magnitude until the year 3043.  So our intentions for the New Year continued to expand in power until we experienced this second eclipse.  At that time, our intentions were sealed in the highest frequencies of vibration possible…..”

Wow, now that’s some powerful and beautiful energy to contemplate right there… and now I know why I had such a pleasant feeling of reassurance that night!

So.. from my notes…

Condor….COOOOON Door.. Say it like that, it has an almost OHM or OOM sound if anunciated properly. The Incans recognized there were 3 worlds. An upper, middle and lower/underworld. The Condor is seen as a sacred bird (amongst eagles, owls, hummingbirds etc).  A condor is a special conductor of energy from the upper world. Condor wings symbolize balance. He talked about a special eating ritual that takes place only on high glacier mountain tops. If a condor takes, for instance, an alpaca for food, he will wait 3 days to eat it. Apparently a group of condors will join him. On the 3rd day the largest condor will start with this OOM sound/singing. The birds will pace around the food in a circle (Kucho makes a pounding with his feet and the sound of traditional native american tom-tom drum rhythmas he turns in a circle).  This happens a total of 7 times (the first three being in one direction, and the remaining four in the opposite). After 7x of this, then the main/largest condor takes only 2 parts of the food. Kucho couldn’t remember if it was the eyes or heart, but that’s all the big condor takes and flies off leaving the others to fest on the rest. 

This particular OHM and turn ritual he said could be used as a cleansing process for ourselves after doing lightwork or being around others at work, etc. He said to stand under cold shower water, tone the OOOM before you turn. Do this clockwise 3x, and then counter-clockwise 4x.

If a condor or other sacred bird should appear along your travels, it means he has a message for you. How big the bird is, the flight path and age of the bird are used to interpret the message (he didn’t elaborate more on this).

** 1/4 way through writing this blog,  I stepped outside with my friend at work so she could smoke. I immediately looked up to the sky (next to airport property in SLC) and spyed 3 large dark birds with a huge wingspan and some white underneath. Getting closer we could tell they were large hawks, just riding the wind, and then I spotted the 4th and largest hawk in the rear, hardly flapping his wings at all.. they were all going south to north riding the air currents… absolutely BREATHTAKING. What timing! **

Do not contribute to the extinction of sacred birds by buying their feathers! It is only ok to receive a sacred bird feather as a gift from someone on the spiritual path, but not to receive one from “just anyone”.

In the time of the Pachakuti Inca, Cuzco was the center of the city. The city itself was in the shape of a puma, built in memory of men who were Puma Men..a community of feline like men. This is a time before Lemurians. There were communities of men who were Condor men and Serpent men.

Patchakuti brings memory of ancient civilization….?.. for that time. The city was that of  Light, of Love. Highly spiritual pure light people lived.  Incan Patchakuti invited gr…(was in a hurry to write, some is lost here) to gain info, and were in 4 and 5th Dimensional. They had a special meeting before Spaniards arrived. A great gong was sounded (they think in Machu Picchu) in the crystal city, and they disappeared/transcended.

Kucho says: “I received a message where I live at the job I was doing. So Cuzco is city of Puma”…”important responsibility to preserve the knowledge of life.” Sun disk ceremonies with a pure gold statue in Cor. Temple of Light. Each day they would put sun disks in the center of the Gold statue of the God of Light. This was putting the energy of the sun in it daily at the first light into its heart.

The first rays of the sun each day are important for ceremony and initiation. The day of 6/21 (and 12/23), the solstice days, were extremely important. He would refer to 6/21 from this point on. There was a sun temple which has coordinates and points which correlate to the 4 directions and constellations AND other places on earth. From what I understood, on 6/21 when they stood at a certain place in this temple, when the first rays came up these rays could be beamed or somehow reached to other points (to Chile, to Bolivia, Brazil..among others) where there were also high priests and people observing.  The center was Cuzco. It was a special light/energy expansion…only 400 Incas at that time(?). Other 200 received in special places.

Patchakuti to open that sacred place again. Was around before Incas. Temples in side the mountain of Machu Picchu. Many entrances to sanctuary from all directions of the mountain. Apus- Mountain (pronounced ah poos). Crystal white composition of Mountain.

The secret to entering a sacred place is to enter without expectation. Enter as a clean slate. This was his first lesson. If you are distracted by the magnificence or beauty of a place, you might miss the message or forget to use the opportunity nature provides for you to receive. Have an open mind.  Nature, the Apu, the plants and animals talk to you. Approach with an open mind, a clean slate. This applies to ALL sacred places on the planet.

Nature is always hungry and asking things of us. Nature draws our energy in. It’s ok to connect with a spirit of a mountain, with the stars. Use the things drawing us in to transcend. Nature is important. Be aware of it without getting caught up (as mentioned above).  If a mountain spirit opens up a portal, USE IT to transcend. Use opportunities in life to transcend instead of getting caught up in the awe of the surroundings.

He then talks of a snake shaped constellation in the sky where the mouth of the snake is located just above the top of a certain mountain on 6/21. He talks of Mama Kocha, mama sara (corn), Mama Tikka (flower). The cave of the spirit of rainbows. That mountains often show a face. This face is the guardian spirit of that mountain (the slide presentation after his speech shows pictures of all of these).

Best time to get initiated is the first light of 6/21. You bow your head for your crown chakra to receive the first light rays of morning. Use this day, this ceremony as a way to “start anew”.

After the speech someone had a question. He elaborated on the area of Salt Lake City, saying that what we need to know here is that our mountains and the Great Salt Lake are temples, just as we have a Mormon temple here. That the mountains and lake have yet to be “activated”, but for us to take advantage of them. He said something along the lines of going walking up through the mountains at night. Lastly he said he has been here 4 times, and not sure why each time, but the energy seems to be increasing each time.

I don’t know a thing about “cognitive psychology”. But I do know a thing or two about behavior modification and making progress, but later regressing. During those times, I recall a distinct feeling of ”I know I had success but something still doesn’t feel right”, or a lack of completion or total harmony. I could feel conflict of some sort but never identify it until recently. 

Let’s talk about Cognitive Dissonance. Miriam Webster’s definition is:  “Psychological conflict resulting from incongruous beliefs and attitudes held simultaneously“

The examples used in this blog are from a magazine article on weight loss, so we’ll stick with that to illustrate the point. Put your own situations into perspective while reading.

Let’s say we completed a successful weight loss regimen and now see results but start to “slip up”. This can be applied to MANY scenarios: 

“Suddenly, perhaps subtly, you find yourself making choices you used to make, resuscitating less-than-healthy behaviors you thought you’d given up. Bit by bit, you start reclaiming that loose space in your clothing and retreating into the more familiar look and feel of your former, less-fit self.

So what gives? People get derailed from success for all sorts of reasons. For some, it’s life circumstances or unrealistic expectations. For others, people burn out on overaggressive regimens, or simply fail to transition into sound maintenance programs. But there are also times when people abruptly reverse course for no apparent reason.

In such cases, there’s often an unconscious factor at work. It may seem as though we have a divided self, with one part of us willingly doing the work of getting the job done, and the other part of us busily deconstructing our progress while we’re not looking.

This, according to cognitive psychologist Michael Hall, PhD, is a classic case of “cognitive dissonance,” a psychological phenomenon that arises whenever an individual holds two opposing (i.e., dissonant) thoughts, beliefs, values or goals. In many cases, explains Hall, one of our opposing ideas – or “frames of thought,” as he calls them – might be far less conscious than the other, but still surprisingly powerful. “If left unexamined,” he says, “our unconscious frames may compel us to act in ways we don’t entirely understand – ways diametrically opposed to our more conscious choices.”

Well, that explains alot of things… And for those who know about, or are actively working on the “shadow”, (drumroll please):

“The key to understanding and dispelling such problems, according to Hall, lies in recognizing that some part of us is served – or at least thinks it is served – by our self-sabotaging actions. “One part of you may be committed to the idea of losing weight, and be motivated by the idea of looking more attractive and feeling more fit,” Hall explains. “But there may be another part of you that’s not at all convinced this unfamiliar state of being is safe or desirable. It experiences the change as a threat – a danger or challenge to another important value – and so it acts to reverse it.”

A few other tidbits from the article:

“Your first step toward dismantling patterns of destructive mental processing is to learn to recognize them when they are happening.  Hall refers to this moment of mindfulness as a “choice point” – a time when you can elect to either elevate your chosen frames and meanings, or let them be overridden by less conscious choices “

“If you notice you’re feeling weird, uncomfortable or disoriented in your body, or if you identify that you’re engaging in a behavior that seems contrary to your chosen goals, get quiet for a moment. Go inward and ask yourself: What’s going on? What feelings or assumptions are operating now, and how do they support or oppose my most conscious priorities?”

“As long as the unconscious, negative associations carry more import and meaning than your conscious desire to be thin(or whatever the situation for you may be), Hall asserts, they’ll cause you to begin performing those meanings – typically in ways that undermine your former, fitness-oriented behaviors.”

“The challenge,” he notes, “comes when we simultaneously associate two different or opposing meanings to a single experience, but don’t fully recognize that.”

The full article is here:     http://www.experiencelifemag.com/issues/april-2006/fit-body/your-body-reframed.html

Here’s another tidbit on “Mukti”:   

Mukti as defined in hinduism denotes the end of cosmic life itself. Reaching the stage of Mukti means reaching the stage of salvation as in Buddhism! Mukti is a word coined in hinduism for liberation. Liberation from the cycle of birth and death forever!

Reaching the stage of enlightenment… the moment the atman soul leaves the body it is stated that one has attained Mukti liberation forever. Reaching the stage of Mukti is completing the cosmic life cycle. It is the end in itself for a serious seeker of spirituality. (Taken from http://www.godrealized.com/mukti_liberation.html).

This is the year long class being taught by Jonathan Webb of the Center For Enlightenment Studies = www.golden-aum.com

We meet once monthly. On the odd numbered months, we meet individually with him and on the odd numbered months as a group for an entire day. So far:

JANUARY – Individual meets. Guided by Spirit, Jonathan does a clearing of our chakras and preparation of incoming new energies for the upcoming time. This lasts approximately an hour. Our chosen sacred stone we bring is placed on our hara, so that our spiritual blueprint was embedded in the crystal. He will be working with those throughout the year and we will get them back in December. At the end of this meeting, he is able to see us as our divine selves.

FEBRUARY – We meet as a group, learning how to identify and work with our “shadow” selves with the guidance and invokation of Ma Kali. Our homework Consists of: 1) Repeat mantra 3x daily with prayer beads…….. 2) In a Theta state, journey to chakras with Kali and look around in that “house” for shadows, expose them…..  3) Look at self in mirror and repeat “I am THAT, I AM”.

“I read this post last Sunday and have been thinking about it all week. Here’s what I want to say about a potential telecommunications blackout.

As a Gulf Coast resident, I have already had plenty of experience with across the board system failures resulting from hurricanes. It is a humbling experience to lose electricity, your phone, and the internet region wide. You turn to your neighbors, your community. You help each other more than ever before. You notice the miraculous, like ice carts and food carts that appear out of nowhere, or much-needed muscle and kindness.

Natural disasters are great equalizers; hierarchies disappear. Out of the rubble, something better eventually emerges. In many ways my area has never looked better — every home has a new roof, landscapes look fresher, you can see more sky now than before.

Humanity operates a lot like ants when the hill gets disturbed. We set about quickly putting our house back in order. Going forty-four days without a phone, computer, or electricity might sound scary, but it’s not. The pioneer spirit emerges and kicks into gear. You do things in new and novel ways. You feel kinder, gentler somehow. You come to understand yourself and others a little better. You realize that external affairs really don’t affect your core being. Through it all you develop a sense that come what may, everything will be alright.

Everything will be alright.”

Stories of Initiation
RaHo Tep, The Initiate

Dear Ones,
We are the Arcturians. In our last meeting we talked about Initiation, including the secret and sacred Initiation of Human Love. The concept of Initiation can be quite confusing, especially the Initiation of Human Love. Therefore, we wish to share the story of two initiates with you. One is a male, RaHoTep, who will speak of his Initiation in Ancient Egypt and the other is a female, Matia, who will speak of her initiation in Ancient Delphi.
All of you have past/parallel realities in which you have passed your initiations and served Gaia as a great Initiate. We present these stories to assist you in better understanding the process of initiation, as well as to ignite your memory of your own initiation lives. We know that you have had these initiation lives because we see your aura and because you have found your way to our Corridor. As RaHoTep and Matia tell their stories, allow your own stories of initiation to come to the surface of your consciousness.

In this meeting we introduce RaHoTep:
Dear Ones, I am happy to share my story with you. As I look at all those in the Corridor, my heart fills with joy to see so many Initiates. I hope that my story will be of some assistance and/or comfort in your own process of being your true, Multidimensional SELF in daily life. Discerning between the illusions of our fears and the Truth of our SELF is a challenge that is more difficult then we might have imagined. Your task is even more challenging, as you must find and complete your great initiations while you are also called upon to complete your daily tasks of survival on the third dimension.

I lived in a reality where those who showed promise of attaining initiation were sent to the Temple to study. When my parents had my birth chart done, they learned that my destiny was not with them, but with the Temple. Perhaps that is why I never felt love from them in my earliest years. It wasn’t until I entered the Temple at five years of age that I experienced the love that a family can offer. I studied and served while I was a child and a young adult. My youth in the Temple was filled with loving instructions and wonderful friends. I knew some in the Temple did not share my feelings, but I loved every minute of it. I felt as though I had finally come home.

I started my Final Initiation with my first Saturn Return when I was 28 years old. I know that this age may seem very young to you, but I had been in the Temple since I was 7. My teachers told me that they considered me ready to take the Final Initiation, but I would have to wait until I received my inner instructions. I was told to inform them when my Inner Guide, Radula, instructed that it was TIME. This instruction came a short while after my teachers had given their permission. How many lives had I had to prepare for this moment? A rush of vague pictures from these lives ran past my mind’s eye. Deep within me I felt a call of destiny not yet manifest. I was excited, as well as frightened.

I knew that the three possible outcomes from this Initiation were success, insanity, or death. The second two choices were not acceptable to me. Although I was not afraid of death, as I knew it to be only a recess, I felt that I had not yet fulfilled my purpose for incarnation. I did not want all the years of study and work to be for my personal gain alone. Perhaps when my initiations were finished, I would better know what my service was to be.

At last, the day arrived. The moon was full and I was ready. I had been staying in the quarters located beneath the Sphinx, built especially for those awaiting Initiation. From these quarters, it was only a short walk through the desert to the Great Pyramid where every initiate spent seven days and seven nights deep in the bowels of the Pyramid. These seven days and nights were used to review past lives and lessons. If I passed the first portion, I knew there would be more, but the secret of the rest of the initiation was strictly guarded.

As expected, I had not been able to sleep the night before. At dawn, three hooded Priests came to my door just when the first rays of the Sun cleared the horizon. No words were exchanged. The Priests led me from my room and into the desert. I had always loved the desert at sunrise and sunset, just when the Sun rose above or dropped below the horizon. The horizons in Egypt were infinite- as infinite as Spirit.

As I followed the Priests to the Great Pyramid, I reflected on the soft, golden glow of light. As the desert welcomed a new day, I would welcome a new life. I felt a warm anticipation that matched the rapidly approaching heat of the desert. I was at one with all of nature. The vast vistas of my outer world nudged my inner visions to prepare for awakening. The desert was still, as was my mind, and a warm, gentle breeze caressed my face as if to say, “Good luck!”

I smiled in reply and silently followed the Priests as we entered the Pyramid. Although the Sun had been barely above the horizon when the Priests and I entered the Great Pyramid, I was unprepared for the total darkness that surrounded us. One of the Priests carried a small oil lamp. It was the only thing that I could make out as we moved deeper and deeper into the Great Pyramid. I had learned from my lessons that the total darkness in the pyramid was meant to prepare us to face the darkness inside of ourselves.

Finally, we arrived at a small wooden door, very simple in design. From the glow of the single lamp, I could see the grains in the wood, a golden latch and a lock hanging open. The Priests would lock me in this room for seven days and seven nights - totally alone. They opened the door, led the way inside and instructed me to sit upon a simple papyrus mat on the stone floor. The oil lamp was placed on a ledge to my right along with a small skin of water.

“This lamp will burn for only three days and nights. After that you will be in total darkness.”

These were the first words spoken by the Priests. They said no more. I heard the door close and, with a soft clicking sound, the latch was locked. I closed my eyes and began to meditate. Within those seven days, I reviewed my lessons of that life and all the others. I went into the land of the dead again and again to give penance for any that I had wronged. I reviewed every lesson that I had ever received in any life that I could access. I don’t recall the oil lamp flickering out nor reaching for the water. I only remember the soft click of the latch. This first external sound heard in seven days snapped me back into my physical body.

As the Priests entered the room, I saw their hooded faces over another oil lamp, which one of the Priests held. I slowly nodded to them to show that I was still alive and cognizant. They nodded ever so slightly in response and motioned for me to join them. It took me a while to stand up, and when I did, I could not walk. I leaned against the wall and willed the life force back into my legs that had been crossed in one position for seven days. The Priests took my now empty oil lamp and water-skin from the ledge and waited patiently. When I was able to walk, they led me from the room.

I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew that since I had survived the first part of the initiation, I would be allowed to take the next. The halls within the pyramid were as dark as before, but now my eyes were accustomed to it. The small lamp of my three guides shone like a star for me to follow. The guides walked slowly at first to allow me to get used to my body, but quickened the pace as soon as they knew I could keep up. We moved down, down, and down.

I had learned that the Final Initiation Room was somewhere deep below the surface of the desert, exactly below the apex of the Great Pyramid. Finally, we came to what appeared to be a dead end. A stone wall was before us. The Priests did not seem dismayed by this turn of events and formed a semi-circle in front of the wall. While I stood off to the side waiting for what would happen next, each of the Priests began to sound a tone, which I thought must surely arise from the core of their Souls.

At first their toning seemed random. But gradually, a pattern could be discerned until; at last, there was a crescendo of beautiful harmonious tones. As the singing faded into the surrounding darkness, it was replaced with a low rumbling. Gradually, the wall began to move to the right. Behind this simple stone barrier was a pair of magnificent and ornately carved golden doors. As the doors were slowly revealed, I knew that I had seen these doors before in my meditations. One of the Priests approached the golden doors and placed one hand on each door. The doors were so well balanced that with just the slightest push, they swung open into a huge room. The Priests gestured for me to enter. The doors quickly closed behind me. Again, I heard the low rumbling of the wall covering all traces of the sacred initiation room.

The brilliance of the room blinded me. I had never experienced such illumination while in a physical form. Slowly, slowly, my eyes grew accustomed to the light, and I began to survey the room. This room was not of my Egypt. There were domes and pillars studded with lapis, emeralds, rubies, diamonds, amethyst and jewels I could not identify. Colors I had never seen were painted upon the many carvings, statues and figurines that seemed to move as if they were alive. Somehow I knew that everything within the room was very ancient and had a life force greater than anything I had ever known. This was architecture I’d seen only in my inner journeys to Atlantis.

The large center dome sheltered a smaller pyramid that was a vibration of light rather than a physical structure. Anubus and Thoth, the ancient Egyptian Gods of Initiation, stood within the pyramid on either side of a large sarcophagus. The sarcophagus was mounted on a stand of pure gold with silver steps leading up the right hand side. The sarcophagus was made of a substance that I had not seen before. I knew instinctively that this substance was not of this planet and had been given to Earth millennia ago by its first inhabitants.

The sarcophagus was ornately carved in the same non-Egyptian manner as the walls around me. I sensed that although the sarcophagus was opaque, it could become translucent if the proper alterations were made by the observer’s mind. Anubus motioned for me to enter the sarcophagus and Thoth nodded in agreement. Again, there was no verbal communication. The journey from the doorway to the silver stairs was the longest journey of my life. As I climbed the few stairs I realized that if, indeed, I lived to descend them, I would not be the same person as before.

I lay down inside the sarcophagus. The substance was hard as stone and yet smooth and warm as skin. I felt as if I were re-entering the womb. The flat, stark walls seemed to slowly mold themselves around my form as I settled into the sarcophagus. I don’t think that I could have moved even if I had chosen to. Then Thoth leaned his head over the edge of the sarcophagus and spoke three questions to me in an unknown language. I did not know what the questions were, but I intuitively knew that they were indeed questions and that my survival depended upon my answering them.

I sent a call to my Inner Guide, Radula, as I saw the lid of the sarcophagus slowly enclose me in my tomb. Silently the lid was fastened tight to signify my transition. Again, I was alone.

If I stayed in the tomb too long I would die. There was little oxygen inside, so if I were to keep my physical self alive, I would have to raise my consciousness to the higher dimensions so that I could feed it with Spirit. I knew that I would not be able to leave my body through my third eye as I had done many times before. I searched inside myself for a portal to use to free my Spirit from the confinement of its physical form. I began to feel a deep fear arise within me, but I willed it away. I must not allow myself to experience an emotion that would drop my consciousness!

“Where is the portal to your Higher SELF?”

I now understood the first question. I remembered the chanting of the Priests outside the stone door. I could not use my voice, as there was too little oxygen to waste, but I felt the vibration of the toning just as I had with the three Priests. Since my consciousness was not limited to a human voice, I was able to sing all three parts at once. The melody and frequency calmed my fear and further raised my consciousness. I found myself concentrating on a doorway inside my head, at the very core of my brain. As I continued to tone, something solid, like the stone door, began to open, and behind it were the very same golden doors I had seen upon entering this room. These doors opened inward.

Once again I stepped through them and felt them quickly close behind me. At first I saw nothing but golden light, which embraced every cell and atom of my form and consciousness.

Then slowly, off in the distance, I saw a vortex beginning to form. It began to swirl, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. It was gold, silver, blue, violet, and the other colors that I had first seen in the room outside the sarcophagus. I felt a pull to step into the vortex, and with my decision to do so, it was suddenly just before me. I fell into the core of it and found myself spinning faster and faster through timeless space. At first I was dizzy, but then the spin became so intense that I felt totally still, yet at the same time, it felt as if every cell and atom had quickened its vibration in response to the spin. Then, with a pop, my spin stopped and I found myself in the midst of a great void. I had become fifth dimensional and all was calm.

“Where is the Crystal City?”

With the second question, there was a golden light before me which became a golden form–my Divine Complement. She came in the form of a woman since I embodied a man. We embraced in deep reunion and love. She looked into my eyes and whispered, ‘I will take you Home now’.

Then we were on Venus. It spread out before us with all the beauty and harmony that I had remembered from deep within my Soul for all of my lives. My heart opened in a burst of Light and Love that would have exploded my earthen body had I been in my third dimensional consciousness. I saw the mists of Venus all about me. I saw the flora and fauna of my beloved Home as they floated about me in loving welcome. With their every movement, harmonious colors and sounds echoed their motions.

A welcoming party formed a pathway that led us to the main entrance of the Crystal City. My Divine Complement slipped into my form as we became One again for our homecoming. Translucent crystal gates swung wide as we approached them, and a golden path lighted our way to the heart of the city. The Golden Wisdom Temple was set in glimmering splendor at the end of the path on top of a hill. The doors were open, awaiting our entry. Even though we could have instantly willed ourselves to our destination, we enjoyed the journey and the community of others, so we chose to travel in the same swimming/flying motions as those around us.

Eventually, we found ourselves standing in front of the mighty Sanat Kumara, the Planetary Logos for Earth and Regent of Venus. Rami Nuri and Djwhal Khul, as his advisors, stood on either side of him. The Divine Complements of all three flowed within them. They were androgynous. They were complete!

I bowed before them and Sanat Kumara handed me a jewel. The jewel was unlike anything I had ever known. It was more a vibration than a substance, yet it had beauty and form. I took the jewel in gratitude and held it within my heart.

My Complement and I spent what seemed a lifetime on Venus. We lived and loved and died. And then I began to feel a pull. I knew that the pull was my destiny. It was Earth. It was calling me to return to my third dimensional life so that I could fulfill my destiny there. I had to return in order for the body to live. The sadness of that realization shook my very Soul, but I remembered my commitment. I had said that I would stay on Earth. Therefore, I had to return, before it was too late to save the life of my earthen form.

The sudden density of the sarcophagus was a shock. How could I have returned so quickly without even a goodbye? And then my heart felt the love of my Home and my Divine Complement. Yes, there was no goodbye, for I would hold them in my consciousness, but what about the sarcophagus? There was even less oxygen and now I was fully physical.

“How do you open the sarcophagus?”

The third question was translated in my heart. Yes, in my heart was the answer “the jewel”. The vibration of the jewel would raise the lid. And then, as I focused my attention upon the jewel within my heart, I heard my first physical sound since the three questions were spoken to me a lifetime ago. The sound was of the lid of the sarcophagus slowly rising. I felt the oxygen rushing to my rescue. Like a newborn infant, I took my first breath and sat up. “You are free!” I heard Thoth say in Egyptian, my native tongue.

After weeks of contemplating my initiation, I realized that my lessons now lay in finding the “spiritual” that dwells in the “physical” rather than in the “spiritual” alone. I told my teachers this, and they agreed with my decision. I retired to my small cell to meditate and felt my Inner Guide come to me at once.

“Oh, Beloved Radula, help me. How can I accomplish this part of my destiny?”
“You are to leave the Temple.”
“No, no! How can I? It will be like leaving home,” I cried.
“Exactly,” replied my guide. “The time comes when even children of the One must leave the safety of home in order to find a new life. Your time is now!”

I awoke from my meditation with a sense of anxiety. Where was I to go? How was I to unify and ground myself in the physical world? I had learned to unify and surrender myself to the spiritual world, but there had been many teachers to help me. Now I would be alone. On the Spiritual Path, there had been a longing, a call Home. But now, I felt compelled more by duty than by loving and longing, and I knew I must leave the Temple. Life there was too sheltered and my task could not be completed in that environment. The Temple was only partly physical, and, therefore, only partly my place of purpose.

I suppose I could have stayed there, but it would have taken much longer to accomplish my task of grounding my spirit in matter. As they say in the physical, “time is of the essence.” I didn’t know how long I could maintain my commitment to a Path that was so challenging to me. Even in the holy vibration of the Temple, the low vibration of the third dimension tended to distort the visions of my Initiation. I knew I must take the chance of venturing out into the world while my lessons were still strong in my memory – the greater the risk, the greater the victory.- And, most importantly, I had to follow my inner instructions.

So with tears in my heart, I said goodbye to all that I had known and loved. I could not hope to make my many friends and companions understand why I had to leave, as I barely understood myself. Only Radula understood. So, without looking back, I left my beloved Temple, perhaps, forever. But what did forever mean? Now that I had traveled beyond time, many words had no meaning. How would I ever relate to the people of the world when I could barely relate to the rules of the physical plane? Many questions filled my mind as I left my beloved Temple behind me.

The first six months could have been years or eons. My many activities were too inconsequential to note. The mundane responsibilities of life were unmanageable for me. I had never learned how to care for myself in the world. Getting and preparing food and finding a place to sleep was a new experience. All my physical needs had been taken care of in the Temple. Now that I was on my own in a world foreign to my mind, everything became a task and an effort. How was I to desire, much less gain, a sense of unity with a life that I could not even begin to understand?

Many times I doubted my purpose, as well as my sanity. In fact, many believed I had failed my initiation and had been cast upon the streets instead of leaving of my own free will. They could not understand why I would try this unknown task. A Priest was supposed to stay in the Temple. He was not supposed to go out into the streets to help the people. The people were supposed to go to the Temple when they needed help. And, if they could not get to the Temple, they did not get the help. It was the will of the gods, and the people did not question it. In fact, I found that they did not question anything, except whether or not I was insane. I was attempting something that had never been done, and it frightened them. However, on the bright side, I felt an inner knowing that I was following my destiny. Therefore, I continued on my new path.

Finally, I found a wonderful valley. The energy there was different from anywhere else I had experienced. In this valley I could feel some of the high vibrations that I had known in Temple life, but they were different. Perhaps they were more grounded in the earth, like I was learning to be. I found great joy in wandering the hills near my camp. There was a small pond with a magnificent tree next to it. I spent long hours in meditation under that tree. The energies of the Goddess began to enter into the base of my spine. For the first time in my life, I felt that I was a member of the physical plane. I began to achieve a relationship with Nature that was unknown in the Temple, where we constantly strove to leave our bodies and journey into the other worlds. I was beginning to understand the meaning of my inner directive.

A few people gathered about me, though neither they nor I understood why. I lived very simply and in harmony with my environment. The people would bring me food and I would heal them or listen to them. Is there a difference between the two? A strange peace was growing within me that felt very much like the peace of the valley. I had spent my life finding a connection to Spirit, and now I was discovering a connection to the earth. I found that I was beginning to enjoy it.

The people who came to me were special. I was close enough to the town that these people knew I had undergone my initiation. They also believed I had failed and had to leave the Temple. However, they still came, choosing to listen to an inner voice and ignoring the outer voices telling them I was insane. Some came out of curiosity and soon left. Most, however, came because of an inner call, and they were the ones who stayed.

Gradually, people began to bring their sleeping mats or simple tents and camp with me. Our life was very peaceful. We rose at dawn to greet the Sun. Our ceremonies were simple and individual. Each person found a spot and greeted the Sun from that place every dawn. I knew not how they greeted it, as I was busy myself and had chosen not to observe them. If they told me, which they usually did, I listened without comment. When they asked my opinion, I referred them to their inner guidance. I told them all that their inner voice had guided them to me and would continue to guide them. I acted merely as an interpreter. Just as they had been led there, they would eventually be led away. I remained loving, yet detached. I knew that my earthly lesson was to stay detached from any public acclaim. However, I feared that part of my lesson might be to face the challenge of success and adulation.

We ate what came to us and were as grateful for a meager meal, as we were for a feast. We knew that food was a taste that could corrupt. We were clear not to become attached to it. When the people had learned to heal themselves, they usually desired to learn how to heal others. I was sure that these were extraordinary people who had come to learn and not merely to be healed. Some remembered much of what I taught, and others were unable to retain what they had learned. I remained flexible so that I would not repeat what they already knew or push them too hard to learn new information.

After a year or two the group had grown to about fifty people. Some came only once in a while, some regularly, and about twenty people lived there. I felt a restlessness beginning to stir within me, but I didn’t know what it was. I knew that something was about to change, but I was not sure if it was my body, my environment, or even my consciousness. Unfortunately, I also knew that this change would not be easy, and I would have to warn the twenty who lived with me. I knew that certain members of the town were worried about what we were doing. I needed to be ready to move at any time.

I finally told the twenty that it was time to leave. I could feel the growing discontentment of the town. Since we lived in such a simple manner, they refused to believe we were of the Light. Gold and jewels surrounded the Priests of the Temple. If the gods were on our side, why weren’t we provided with material riches? The town members believed that they could not have spiritual powers without riches. Since they were unlikely to possess these riches, they would continue to believe that they had to go to the gods for power, as they could never find power by going within themselves.

Unfortunately, I had stayed too long. Many angry and frightened people came upon us in the night. Four of the twenty were killed, and ten were wounded. The remaining six escaped into the night. The wounded ten and I went into the back lands to heal. Even though there was much violence, I was unharmed. I knew not why. Perhaps there was still some greater protection at work. I knew that the six who ran away would not return. I felt their disillusionment. Many of those who had not lived with us were also either disillusioned or afraid. A number of loyal friends psychically found our hiding place and brought us food, water, and news of the town. Some of them felt that it was their task to stay in the town and carry on the work in a silent way, and the rest would move on with us when all were healed.

I discovered how difficult it was to maintain my belief in free will, and accept love, in the face of such adversity. In the Temple, the surroundings and superstitions about the gods and their Priests protected us. Here, all of my protection lay within me, and I always had to feel it so that I could protect the others. I felt responsible for the deaths and the injuries. If I had acted upon my inner prompting more quickly, I could have averted any injury. This was a hard lesson to learn. I would have to remember to instantly react to my inner guidance. I was not in the Temple, the land of gentle instruction. There might be only one warning, and the consequences could be merciless if one did not heed it.

Our small community had disturbed the townspeople’s sense of reality, and they had retaliated in a frightened, violent way. I had learned the hard way that my work had to be done quietly, away from those who were unable to accept a new reality. I learned that those who could not find comfort in their own beliefs would feel threatened by new ideas. One must first find the core of his/her own truth before embracing another. Old foundations must be uprooted before new ones can be laid. The people who had harmed us were not evil. They were afraid.

When we began moving, some of the band decided to stay behind. I had spoken to all of them, individually and as a group. Most understood what had happened and were even relieved to know that I was human. However, some were looking for a god-person and could not bear to learn of my frailties. These people would not be coming with us. I had determined to always discuss my human emotions and misgivings with my group. It helped me to understand the human part of myself, and it also guarded against adulation from the members of the group. I did not wish to have the burden of being anyone’s god. I was merely a teacher and a guide. I understood from my Temple work that humility had not been one of my strong suits in past lives, and I needed to endeavor to hone that virtue.
After many months of traveling, the numbers in our band had decreased further. Finally, we found a place were we could stay for a while. We had traveled through many barren lands, and finally found ourselves in a small, tropical oasis. There was water and fruit. Also, caravans traveled through this area and would gladly trade their staples for a healing, dried fruit, and whatever other services we could provide. The oasis was quite large and we could be far away from where the caravans filled up their water. Therefore, only those who followed an inner call actually arrived at our camp. Usually, one or two of us would go to the watering area and offer a trade. Several of the group could read auras quite well. They would always go along to see if there was danger. We were getting wiser and more careful.

After about six months, I sensed it was time to move on again. This time I would not wait too long. The word of our work had spread and many had come especially to be healed or to learn. However, there had been increasing problems with the caravan leaders who feared we were somehow a threat. We had found a valley with water two days’ walk away. We could come to the oasis solely to trade while we carried on our other activities at a safe distance. I wondered when the wandering would cease. Were we forever destined to move farther and farther away so as not to offend others?

The transfer of locations went quite easily. All of us did our part. We could see now that this was a much better spot. There was a small stream that arose from the ground at the top of a low hill and stayed on the surface long enough to form a fair-sized pool before it again became subterranean. One of the women in the group gave birth to a male child. We then had our first natural citizen. Citizen of what, I did not know, but it appeared that some sort of community was beginning to form. I didn’t know how new people got there, but they came on a regular basis. Some of them had heard about us from traders and, somehow, the word spread to others. A few came by divine guidance, as they could not remember how they had found us.

Then one day, a Prince from a faraway land came to us with several of his bodyguards. I had an uncertain feeling about this event. I knew that it would lead to some new development, and I didn’t think I would care much for it. However, I was there to follow instructions from within, and I was beginning to be at peace with allowing each new development to formulate on its own. The Prince began coming regularly. He had a rare genetic disease that he believed I could cure. He had come to us because of a dream and recognized me instantly. I told him that his karma had dictated this disease to him, and his task was to fulfill this karma. Once his karma was balanced, the disease would be cured. However, I did not know if this cure would come in life or in death. I had grown very fond of the Prince and was having trouble maintaining my objectivity. I had to constantly remind myself to accept the decision of his Soul and not to hold any fear or sadness.

The Prince and I talked many times. As we looked into his other lives, we found that he had been very hard-hearted and could not see the suffering of others. Therefore, in this life his heart was not of sufficient elasticity. We finally decided that in order to balance his karma, he was to live among his people as a peasant for one year. We felt that if he lived through this, his condition would improve-if he allowed himself to recognize, and be sympathetic to, other’s pain. The Prince’s father, of course, was not happy about this agreement, but he would do anything to try to heal his son. I was to travel with him as often as I could. This would mean considerable hardship, as the journey was long and dangerous, but I felt I must continue as the Path unfolded.

After almost a year, the Prince was much better. Soon his healing would be complete, and he would return to help his father rule. This was none too soon, as the father was very old and ready to leave the physical plane. I tried to prepare the Prince for this possibility, but he was resistant to hearing it. I feared this would be the final, and most difficult test, for the Prince. He had become a very dear man, and I was sure he would be a kind and just ruler. I doubted he could attain the wisdom of a Pharaoh, but he would fulfill his destiny to the best of his potential. This was all one could do in any life.

Finally, the year was completed. The Prince had just returned to his home when his father died. I spoke with his father on the other side and found that he had known all along of his impending death, which was the only reason why he had agreed to my plan. The plan had been very successful. The Prince spoke with his father before he died and was able to face his death bravely. I was happy for the Prince, who was now the King. He had grown from being sick and frightened to a strong and virile man. The new King wished me to begin a Temple for him to provide healing and education for his people. I would do so. But as soon as it was started, I would leave some of my most advanced pupils to run it, and then I would move on.

The King had given me free reign to teach as I wished, and I soon found myself in quite a position of power. He built me a beautiful Temple, and there were many Priests and Priestesses beneath me. I was the High Priest, and there was no one to put me in my place. The schools were successful, and the people were remarkably open to my teachings. Many wished to worship me and make me something that I was not. The recognition and praise was more of a threat than a treasure, and I constantly monitored my feelings to note any speck of clinging to earthly prizes. I called constantly to my Inner Guide to keep me balanced and to keep my consciousness centered. But, despite my efforts, I began to fear the call of the riches, adulation, and comfort. I feared them because I began to enjoy them – too much.

There had been no fear in me in the wilderness, but even though I missed the days of solitude in nature, I never left my luxurious Temple. In the lap of luxury, fear -and yes, arrogance-began to invade my consciousness. I worked very hard to purify myself, but each day the wealth and recognition altered my mind and hardened my heart. Gradually, I began to change. I was torn. Should I stay there and continue my work, or should I retreat into the wilderness to save my Soul?

Before I knew it, it was too late. I began to wear the golden garments, and I decorated my quarters like a palace. The food I ate was the best in the kingdom, and I starting looking at women as if they were something to be taken. I knew I could leave, but also knew that I would not. I found it more and more difficult to reach my Inner Guide and could not understand what was said when I did. Deep inside me I knew I could not understand their message because I did not want to hear it. Somewhere in my Soul I had always known that my test would be to maintain my purity and humility despite the power, fame and wealth brought by worldly success and recognition. Even though I had suspected such a challenge, I had failed. I lived this way for several decades.

Then one evening, I had a dream. I dreamed of Radula. The Guide that I had forgotten had somehow gotten through my resistance and touched my consciousness. Standing mutely before me, Radula displayed a scene of an old man dying alone in the desert. I awoke with a start, but could not move. Slowly, my years as a High Priest were reviewed in my mind. And then I remembered my young ideals and ethics. I felt old and tired. How could this have happened? How could I have lost myself to the temptations of the flesh? Were the ways of the world so tempting, or was I just weaker than I suspected?

I prayed to Radula to return, but there was no response. I was starving among the most delicious of foods and thirsting amongst the finest of wines. My heart was aching while a kingdom loved me, and I was poverty-stricken while anything I touched could be mine. The rich foods and fine drinks had weakened me.

Many years of using only my mind while others waited upon my body had made me dependent on the comfort and softness of the life I had created. I even had three wives and had fathered five children without being a parent to any of them. How had I lost control of my life in such a way? My anguish was my secret since I had grown dependent upon the worship of others and could not allow anyone to see me vulnerable, even my old friend the King.

The fine foods sickened me, and the drinks nauseated me. The women bored me, and the soft environment suffocated me. What was to become of my Soul? I longed to return to the simple days of the wilderness. Perhaps if I returned there I could regain what I had lost. I had grown soft and weak in both body and mind. I was so tormented that I became ill. A fever raged for many days, and I suffered the death of the old man alone in the wilderness again and again. Finally, I vowed that if my health returned, I would return to my roots, no matter what. The next day, I awoke, totally cured. My answer had come. I must journey alone into the desert.

I told no one of my plans. I gave my riches to the poor, except for what was necessary to take care of my children and their mothers. I feared that they hated me because they did not agree with what I thought was “enough”. But, I couldn’t leave them to the corruption of my riches. I feared I still had no love for them, but I wished them well as I left alone at dawn and traveled into the desert.

After about a week of travel, I found a small oasis and settled in to find my Self. At last I felt contentment in my beloved wilderness. The beauty of nature far surpassed the riches of man. Every being in nature spoke to me as an individual. There was no deification or jealousy. I was simply a member of the society of earth. I had left the Temple with only a beast and a few provisions, and soon the food was gone. As an Initiate, I had learned to go many days without food or water, but now I could not raise my vibration enough. Nor did I wish to. As I traveled alone, I had come to realize that I had gone into the desert to die. It was I who was the old man dying in the wilderness. Gradually, I allowed the life force to leave my body. When all my food was gone, the hunger that I suffered was one of purification and cleansing, as the weight of “success” fell from my body. I let the beast go so that it could find its way home, and I gradually slipped into the delirium of starvation and fever. I had regained contact with Radula. The love of my Guide was more important than the adulation of an entire kingdom. In just a few more days, I would be spent of the Earth.

Maybe I had given up or, maybe, I had followed a divine directive. I would only know for sure on the other side. I could not continue any longer. The vital energy had left my body and now hovered just above my heart. To some, my life was a great success. To others, it was a complete failure. At that point, I could not tell which was right. I had done the impossible, and it had destroyed me. The last two days were as long as my entire life. I had surveyed every moment of it and wished I could return for corrections. However, I was now too weak to get the water that was not far away, and hunger had long since left me. On the seventh day, I left my body completely. As I took my last breath, I already felt lonely for the body that I must leave. I felt great anguish for the end of my life. All I could do was ask forgiveness.

I called to Radula for forgiveness and understanding. The last thing I saw was the Prince, who was now the King, rushing to save me.

I opened my eyes thinking that I would see the higher worlds, but instead all I saw was the inside of the sarcophagus.

“NO!” I screamed. I was very confused and disoriented. Where was I? Was I in a grave, sealed alive to slowly suffocate? I began to lose all control of my emotions and went into a state of panic. I pushed at the lid and hammered on the sides around me, but the more I struggled, the smaller the space became and the less oxygen there was to fill my lungs. I started to cough and grasp for air. I was dying. The box around me became smaller and smaller until I could no longer struggle, as there was no space. The lid was inches above my nose. However, the absolute restriction calmed me.

I slowed my breathing and tried to remember how I got in this place, but I could not. My mind was blank, my memory gone. Slowly, something began to grow in my heart�a feeling. At last, I realized it was a feeling of love. At first it was far, far away and more like a memory than an emotion. When I attached my attention to it, the feeling grew stronger and closer. At last, it emanated from deep within my heart. Yes, it was Love, the most beautiful love that I could ever remember. A voice, clear as a bell and soft as the morning breeze whispered to my Soul. I recognized it before I could understand the words. It was my Divine Complement.

“It is your initiation, Beloved. You are inside of the sarcophagus, and the life that you just lived was an illusion, a portion of your initiation.”
Her “feel” and her words calmed my Soul and, gradually, I began to remember.
“Beloved,” I spoke in a whisper, “if you had not come to me, I would have died. In fact, I still may if I don’t remember how to raise the lid. But if I die with you, I will be content.”
“You needn’t die, my One. What you need to do is correct your mistake. Find where you began to make your choices from fear rather than from Love and re-enter the illusion to change your
intent.”

Yes, I mused. When did I forget about Love? When did I change my intention? I went back over the life again and again, becoming increasingly aware of the diminishing oxygen level in the sarcophagus. I realized that I had to go into a meditation and raise my vibration back into the fourth dimension because my third dimensional form could no longer survive in the confines of the sarcophagus. My ego was having a difficult time rising above fear. In response to my thoughts, my Divine Complement began to sing gently into my heart. She sang songs of Venus and of Arcturus, our home before we went to Venus. Yes, I had forgotten Arcturus. I had forgotten the frequency of unconditional love that was the emanation of that reality.

I began to feel my consciousness raising. I felt my form as pure light and again the trapped, physical form was but a memory. My Complement and I were one again. We were complete and androgynous and traveling into the higher dimensions. We saw the Crystal City of Venus below us, but we continued on. Then, we saw before us a beautiful vortex filled with violet and golden light. The vortex pulled us into it, and we were deep in the void beyond the vortex. All was still, completely and blissfully still. We were a small speck of consciousness in a void of raw potential. In this void, there were no emotions and no thoughts. There was no movement and no time. For eternity we stayed floating free in the void.

Then gradually, off in the recesses of our consciousness came a thought. The thought was followed by a sound, and then by a speck of light. The light became a star and the star became Arcturus. The star was far away, deep inside of our consciousness. We felt the love of it, and allowed that love to act as a tractor beam to pull us closer and closer to our true Home. The reunion with unconditional love was so intense that it seemed to create an inner explosion that repelled us out of the void, beyond the vortex, past Venus and back into ancient Egypt. I cried out in anguish thinking that I had lost my Divine Complement, but I instantly heard her comforting voice.

“We are complete, Beloved. I am alive within you, and I will always remind you to remember unconditional love.”
Reassured, I took a moment to find where in my vision I had arrived. I focused my attention to clear my inner perception and saw the King standing before me. He had just offered to build a Temple for me so that I might be the High Priest and spiritual leader of his kingdom. It was at that moment that I felt the reactions of fear come into my heart and mind, and my intentions shifted from love to fear. What I had missed before now resonated deep inside my consciousness. I was afraid�afraid of my own corruption.

Through all of my teachings and initiations, there had been an engram, a core belief, hiding in my deep unconscious. It said: “Matter corrupts Spirit.” I was afraid that recognition and riches would corrupt me. This fear went unnoticed and seeped into my consciousness like a poison. Where once I had felt unity with all life, I began to feel separation and limitation. I became separate from those who built and served in the Temple and limited in my ability to view my greater Self. My thinking became polarized into good and bad, light and dark. Gradually, comparison, competition, judgment and jealousy became a portion of my mental life while resentment and anger filled my emotions. I longed for the simple illumination of my life in the wilderness where I had felt united with all life and had allowed my Soul’s purpose to unfold before me.

It was the rejoining with my Divine Complement and our journey Home to Arcturus that allowed me to return to that pivotal moment in my initiation vision and uproot the cause of my demise. I then understood that this vision was a preview of my divine mission, a rehearsal where I could find my hidden enemy – my hidden fear! Where had this engram/core belief, held tightly to my consciousness with fear, come from? I knew that I had to find the cause in order to heal it so I looked back upon my childhood.

When I was a small child and still living with my parents, I saw that they were very poor. My father had great difficulty in finding fulfillment in his life. He had studied to be a scribe, but he lacked the necessary discipline and often found himself without work. He had married beneath his class, as my mother was from a family of farmers. However, it was her diligence and ability to grow food for the family, and even to sell at the marketplace, that provided the only security we had. As a small child, I often heard them argue because, when my father did get work, he took the money and gambled it away.

When I went to the Temple, I thought that I felt guilty for abandoning my mother to her difficult life. Actually the truth was that I felt guilty because I was happy to leave a home with so much quarreling and so little love. From my parents I learned that lack of material comfort could destroy the spiritual connection of a relationship. I imagined that my mother was actually the nurturing, kind mother I wished she had been, and I blamed my father for robbing me of that mother. I believed that it was his selfish and addictive ways that had ruined my early years.

When I entered the Temple, I quickly forgot my parents and my unhappy childhood. In all the years in the Temple, I never healed this childhood pain because I had ignored the life I was currently living and, instead, focused on my past lives. Therefore, a weak place began to grow in my consciousness. A place where I had hidden my secret childhood fears that my father cared more for money than for me. This childhood fear then expanded into my hidden adult fear that I cared more for success and adulation than I cared for my Soul.

These fears bonded with my thoughts and a powerful engram grew, which unconsciously molded my behavior and my life. Because it was an unconscious fear, it was even stronger, as I could not monitor it. My challenge in my initiation was to find this hidden enemy so that I could disarm it with my love force, but I had forgotten the unconditional love of my Higher Selves and the power this love held. Gradually, I became lost in my secret fears of corruption.

My Divine Complement came to me to remind me that my physical body, my matter, was only the grounded portion of my Spirit. What I had to do to heal my earth-bound vessel was to connect it, consciously, to my myriad spiritual vessels. I was not a physical being having a spiritual experience. I was a spiritual being having a physical experience. With that knowledge, I could remember to love my grounded vehicle, love my mother, my father and, most important, love my Spirit.

As I returned to re-live my vision, I would remember that I was a Multi-dimensional Being. This time I would maintain the memory of and communication with my true, Multidimensional SELF. I would keep continuous connection with my sixth dimensional self in Arcturus, my fifth dimensional self in Venus, and my Divine Complement.

I would hold the anchor in the third dimension while my Complement was anchored in the fourth. While I took responsibility for the daily activities of Temple life, she would direct the flow of Spirit as we grounded our fifth dimensional Venusian life in the foundations of the Temple and blessed it with the unconditional love from our Source in Arcturus. With this alignment, fear could not take root in my consciousness. I was now aware of my fear, and I could keep it as a guardian to remind me to stay connected to my SELF, guard against corruption and surround myself with love.

I heard my Divine Complement’s voice, “Allow the Love from within to meet the Love from without in a joyous union of Spirit into Matter.”

I smiled inside my heart. Yes, I would allow her love into my physical body. In that way, we could become merged while I still held a third dimensional form. Together we would gestate, nurture, and protect the Temple of my vision with unconditional love. My Divine Complement would be kept close in my heart and mind to remind me that I was of my SELF. Together we could transcend the separation and limitations of the third dimension. I was ready now.

“Yes, I will go with you,” I spoke to the King. “We will build a Temple for healing and enlightenment so that all who enter may learn that love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!”

In response, I heard the lid of the sarcophagus begin to raise.
(above from Reconstructing Reality by Suzan Caroll)

Dear Initiates,
I thank you for listening to my story. In closing, I encourage you to remember that our greatest enemy is the fear that we have hidden deep inside. If that fear can be brought to our awareness, it can be loved free. Please, accept now the greatest lesson of my life: Love is stronger than fear, and Spirit is alive in all matter!

I direct you now to the Arcturians, who guide us all into the Light.

RaHoTep

Both his and Matia’s stories are taken from this page: http://unitedstarseeds.ning.com/group/arcturianstarseeds/forum/topics/the-next-steps-of-arcturian

WOW! As I read the story, I found myself easily imagining the beautiful and lush surroundings and rituals carried out. Notice too, this is what she refers to as an “initiation”… or, a past life on earth. And particularly what is important to note is how nourishment and strength was gained from Mother Earth. (I have another one I could copy and paste which especially illustrates this, but I’m posting Matia’s story because it is more mystical and resonates with me more at this time).  ENJOY!!

Stories of Initiation
Matia, Priestess of Delphi

Dear Ones,
We are the Arcturians, returned again to greet you in our Corridor so that we may share with you another story of Initiation. Matia is with us to day to tell the story.

“Thank you, dear Arcturians. I am most grateful for this opportunity to relate my story to the grand Beings I see before me within this Corridor of Light. I, Matia, have been gone from the physical planes of my beloved Goddess, Gaia, for many of your Earth generations. However, my Spirit still holds form, as does the Spirit of RaHoTep. I am honored to follow his story with my own.

I had been born with the birth sac across my face and my mother, taking that as an omen, immediately had my fortune read. The diviner said that I would grow up to be a great Oracle, and that I should be given to the Goddess on my fifth birthday. My mother was also told about a great decision that I would make in my twenty-fifth year that would change my life forever. However, my mother died shortly after bringing me to Delphi and never revealed the decision with which I would be faced. My only mother would then be the Goddess. I would have to seek counsel from Her and hope that I would make the right choice.

When I first came to the caves of Delphi, my job had been to help clean the caves and gather water from the well. In time I earned my superior’s trust and was given more and more responsibility. First, I assisted in feeding the many people who came to Delphi to receive a reading by the Oracles, and, eventually, they allowed me to run messages back and forth from the dignitaries to the officials of Delphi. Everything I did was in or near the caves.

Others may have perceived the caves as being cold and lonely, but to me the darkness of the caves felt warm and reassuring. It had been home and mother to me since I was five. I had a best friend named Zulia. We did everything together. We ate together, slept together, and worked together as often as possible. It was no surprise when we started our menses on the same day. We were thirteen and so happy that we could barely contain ourselves, because we knew that we would be given our rites of passage together as well.

The High Priestess had been told that two children were dying and that two women were being born. The High Priestess herself blindfolded us and, holding onto the golden cord around her waist, we were led to the sacred pools deep inside the caves. Only the High Priestess knew where they were. The secret was passed on from one High Priestess to the next. We arrived at the pools exhausted and muddy from stepping in the many puddles and bumping against the damp walls of the cave. For the entire journey we had not been allowed to speak a single word, and if we dropped the golden cord, no one would give it to us. We would have to find it ourselves with our blindfolds still on. Therefore, Zulia and I held on to the cord like life itself.

At the pools, we were allowed to untie our blindfolds. We were instructed to remove all our clothing and to burn them with the torch that the High Priestess had been holding. She then led each of us to our own pool at opposite ends of the cavern and warned us that we were to have NO communication. Now we would be left alone with only meager rations to eat, and the water in the pool to warm and comfort us. As we stepped into our pools, we found that the water was warm and effervescent. The steam rising from the pools brought warmth to our naked bodies. I found a relatively comfortable ledge by the pool where I would wait and meditate through my first blood. For the first time since we had met as children, Zulia and I could not communicate about our experience. I willed myself to forget about her and to concentrate only on the Goddess.

“When you have finished your bleeding, call me in your meditations, and I will come to birth the new woman and present her to her Sisters,” said the High Priestess. Without another word, she took the torch and left us in total darkness. Although, we kept our vow and did not speak to each other, we found great comfort in knowing that we were together. We were like twins awaiting birth from the same womb. I finished my blood several days before Zulia. I went into meditation and silently called the High Priestess. Within a short time she was there. Somehow she had heard my call. I will never forget the joy I felt when I did not need to wear the blindfold for my return trip.

Now, I was a woman. I was completely changed, but my skin still felt the warm glow of the mineral waters of the pool. My sisters ran to me in welcome. They brushed and styled my hair and adorned me with a long gown with a silver cord around the waist that only the women could wear. My short robe with the rope bindings lay in ashes beside the pools. However, my joy dimmed because Zulia was not with me. I feared that she would feel abandoned by me and would never quite forgive me. I know I never totally forgave myself. Perhaps I should have waited for her. But I had not. It was a decision I had made, one that I could not change.

After I was adorned as a woman with my hair atop my head and my long gown, I was blindfolded again and led by all my sister Priestesses. They giggled and chattered like a hundred birds. We were all merry, as the anticipation of a great surprise filled the many tunnels that they guided me through. At last they grew silent, and I felt them all watching my response as we went round the final turn. I was still blindfolded and could see nothing, but a warm breeze and a melody of beautiful scents welcomed me. I knew that I was approaching an opening as I felt the light through my blindfold.

Then all my sisters gathered about me and sang a beautiful song. We called it “Welcome to Womanhood”. At the end of the final chorus, they became silent and somber. From somewhere in the opening I could smell the High Priestess coming to me. I had learned to recognize her by smell from our journey into and out of the sacred pools. The High Priestess took my hand and led me into sunlight so bright that my face was instantly flushed. She then stood just before me and placed her hands upon my shoulders. I could feel her eyes burrowing into my Soul.

“Do you swear, Matia, upon your life, to keep the Secret of the Mysteries that are to be revealed to you?”
“Yes,” I replied in a firm voice.
“Matia,” she asked again. “Do you swear to hold until your death the secret of this special place which you are about to see?”
“Yes, I swear upon my life to carry these secrets into the Elysian Fields of the Netherworld upon my death!”
The High Priestess embraced me and removed my blindfold.

Everyone laughed merrily as I gasped at the vision before me. For many years, I had spent all my sleeping hours and most of my waking hours in or near the cave. Light was something that had been reflective. It reflected off the cliffs near the cave mouth or from the candles and oil lamps. When the blindfold was removed, I was almost blinded by the intense and direct light. But I could see, and everywhere I looked was incredible beauty. The Goddess had kissed this valley and hidden it for only Her Priestesses to enjoy.

“This is the Light of the Mother,” whispered the High Priestess. “If ever you speak of this valley to the uninitiated, you shall extinguish a part of that Light. We keep the Mystery of the Goddess alive within this valley. To go against the Mother is to go against the Secret of Life. If anyone divulges the secret of this valley, they must surrender their lives in repentance.”

“I had vowed with my life to keep the secret, and I meant it. My mother had chosen my life as a Priestess, but I had come to totally embrace it. I had seen the “kept women” of the dignitaries. They carried their beauty in their jewelry and clothes rather than in their eyes. Their only power was over their servants or slaves. They soon grew fat in overindulgence and shame; shame that they had lost their beauty, shame that their men openly took lovers (male and female), and shame that they had lost themselves because they had lost their connection to the Great Mother. The price for losing my connection to the Mother was too great. I would keep Her secrets, Her power, and Her virginity. I didn’t understand what the joy was in sex anyway, at least, not yet.

I learned later that the cave wound its way beneath a mountain and opened up on a beautiful isolated valley that could only be reached by traveling through the cave or over high peaks. The cave�s entrance to the valley had been sealed by a rockslide for unknown years until one of the earliest Priestesses received a vision explaining how to remove the rocks. As the last rocks were cleared, they saw this beautiful, pristine valley. The valley was a secret and only the “women,” those who had passed their first initiation, knew about it.

The valley was vital in the life of the Priestesses of Delphi because it afforded them the freedom that they needed to do their mission. In the valley they had freedom from intervention, freedom from the outside community and, most importantly, freedom from men-or at least, freedom from male domination. Once, all had worshiped the Goddess. They knew Her as the creator of the form of their lands and the form of their bodies. Everyone loved and respected Her and the land that was Her body. All Her subjects were equal. Animals, birds, insects, plants and people were all equal citizens of Her realm.

But slowly, the Goddess was being forgotten. Times were changing. The men were worshipping their gods of war and possession, and the Goddess held less and less importance to them, as did the women. Women had become a possession of their men, who saw them only as a source of enjoyment and procreation. In fact, one of the few times that the men consulted women was when they came to the Oracle. But would they have listened to these women if they could have slept with them?

In the olden days, male and female sex was an expression of Spirituality. It was a dedication of their joint energies to the Great Goddess. Men and women would rejoice in the creative force of the Mother and create wonderful magic with their sexuality. But now it had changed. Men used intercourse as a way to possess their women. And women, who were quickly losing their ability to survive on their own without the Light of the Goddess, were using sex to “trap” men into wanting to take care of them. This is why the Priestesses were virgins. It was not a matter of morality, or purity, or even power, as the men wished to believe. It was because their virginity won them freedom. In the valley, a man’s foot had never trod. The women could wander through the many trails in complete nudity, without any fear of judgment or lust.

After our rite of passage, we were allowed to go deeper into the cave, live in the Priestess’ quarters, and serve our older sisters. Zulia was placed in the East Quarters and I was in the West. We were kept very busy with our separate duties. Although we were heartbroken by our separation, we would sneak off to be with each other as often as possible. However, there was something different about our relationship since our initiation. Maybe it was just that we were now women, whereas before, we had been children. One day, while studying together with the High Priestess, she tried to explain this to us.

“Now you are Priestesses,” she said. “It is not appropriate for a Priestess to become too attached to anyone or anything. Our power comes from our ability to be free of needs and desires, and our freedom is limited if we are attached to the outside world rather than the world inside ourselves. Once, the Priestesses could leave Delphi for two or three seven-year cycles in order to marry or have children. However, in the last hundred years or so, we found that the Priestesses would not return once they left, because the indoctrination of the patriarchal world would erode the memory of their true selves. Many initiates who would have been very powerful Priestesses were lost. Therefore, we have changed our rules. We live in a difficult world now. We women must work together to keep the Light of the Great Mother alive!”

I did not yet understand the power of her words. I was young and had not been tempted. Zulia had also made her promises and felt much the same as I. We loved the Goddess, and we loved her secrets. More love than that was not needed. Many of the Greek men were fully satisfied by their own sex and openly loved each other when they came to the Oracle. Why couldn’t women do the same?

As I grew older, I took more initiations. I served in the Priestess’ Quarters for three more years. Then it was my time to join a group of my sister Priestesses and go into the deepest darkness of the cave to face the darkness within myself. For two years we did not see the light of day. We came out only at night to do our Moon rituals and returned to the depths of the cave to continue our lessons and deep introspection.

When I was just a child, my life had been so simple. I had had no desire or emotion pulling at my heart because everything I needed was around me. However, at this time I began to have strange yearnings, which I could not understand. I knew that they had something to do with sex, but it was more than just sex, I hoped. It was about love. Suddenly, the love of the Goddess seemed to be lacking in some way, and I needed something that was outside the safe surroundings of my life.

Not every woman could give up her personal desires for her spiritual destiny. There was the animal body in which her spirit lived, which desired to mate and procreate. I understood why the Priestesses could not marry or bear children in a world were women would lose their power with a man, but I began to resent the limitations of my chosen path. Why must I sacrifice so much for my inner life? Was I not also a woman? While deep in the caves, I viewed other lives in which I had had lovers, husbands and children, but still the sacrifice seemed too high. I searched inside my self for an answer and cried to my Inner Guides for help, but all I found was more pain. When would I ever find peace?

I had been in the cave for two years, had studied past lives, and had faced birth and death many times. I learned the reason I had chosen the parents I had been born to and the reason I chose to incarnate into my present life. I could meditate for many days at a time, without food or water, and I could walk in the total darkness with only the vision of my own inner light. How could I have achieved all of these powers when I still had such doubt and desire locked inside my heart?

I felt guilty and ashamed. I felt as though I had been lying to my mentors and fellow initiates. And, worst of all, I felt as though I had been lying to the Goddess! I would have to leave Delphi. I did not deserve to stay. I was almost ready to resign from the Delphi, when I had a vision, or actually, it was a visitation from my Inner Guide, Pallas Athena, the Goddess of Truth. I knew that it was not an illusion because she touched me.

One day, I could take it no longer and decided to leave that night after all the others were asleep. I did not have to worry about waking up, as I could not go to sleep. At last, everyone was asleep and it was my chance to leave. I knew that I was being a coward to sneak out in the dead of night, but I could not stand another moment of my inner turmoil. Perhaps if I could be alone for a few days, I would be able to return and submit my formal resignation. I rose from my mat and sneaked from the sleeping room like a criminal. Then the most unusual thing happened. I got lost in the mazes of the cave. This was impossible!

I had lived in these caves for two years and was certain that I knew every inch of them like the back of my hand. I realize now that my Soul had intervened and confused my poor, wounded ego. I was sure at first that I could find my way out of the maze, but instead I seemed to be moving deeper and deeper into unknown territory. At last I realized that I was completely lost. Perhaps this was the labyrinth of the Final Initiation for which I was obviously not ready. I would die here in this passage and become one of the skeletons that I had bumped into as my flight became more and more desperate.

Finally, I came to a cavern which I had never seen before. There were stalagmites and stalactites all around the entrance. As I entered, I found that the cavern housed a large pool. Most amazing of all, the cavern was filled with light. It was not direct light like the Sun, but more like the reflective light of the Moon. How could this be? I must be many miles beneath the surface of the earth by now. There could not possibly be an opening to the exterior light at this depth. Nonetheless, the cavern was filled with light. I looked around to find the source of this mysterious glow. It appeared that the light was stronger on the other side of the water. Going around the pool, however, would be very difficult, as both sides rose straight up from the water without even a small ledge upon which to crawl. I would have to go into this unknown body of water in order to find the source of the light.

I could have chosen to leave the cavern, but since I was totally lost and would probably die anyway, I decided to be daring enough to enter the water. If I died here, at least it would be in an act of courage rather than in an act of cowardice. I entered the water slowly and carefully. My wrap quickly became a hindrance to my movement, and I had to get out of the pool and take it off. I left it by the edge of the water. If I ever returned, I might need it. I now re-entered the water totally naked. The water was exactly my body temperature and felt like liquid skin. It was denser than regular water and completely black. Perhaps it was not water, but some other liquid that I had not encountered before.

I kept my head out of the water and hugged the edge of the pool, holding on to the small rocks and ridges which encircled it. I also tried floating, with my body as close to the surface as possible, as I was not brave enough to meet whatever may be living within the depth of the blackness all around me. At last, I reached the other side. I pulled myself from the water, scratching my bare skin on the rough rocks as I did so. I was now naked, bleeding, and quite terrified. However, the light did appear to be brighter on this side, and there seemed to be a small path, which meandered into the growing light. I followed it.

Gradually, I began to hear tones coming either from a delicate instrument or a human voice. The tones were pure and sweet and unlike any I had ever heard. We had learned how to heal with color and tone, but these tones were beyond anything I had experienced. The light also began to change. What was once a pearl white light resembling moonshine now began to take on other colors as well. Eventually, all the colors of the spectrum, as well as some that I had not seen, began to dance and twirl through the beams of light that I was following. The light and tone was familiar to me in some way. It reminded me of something that I knew just beyond the conscious reaches of my mind.

As I became absorbed in the light and sound, my fear faded and was replaced with a stillness and peace that I had not known since I had entered the caves. My cuts stopped bleeding, as my physical, emotional and mental wounds began to heal. My heart became light and joyous and my mind clear of doubt and guilt. I fell to the ground and thanked the Goddess.

“Oh, Beloved Mother, if I am to die now, I thank you for allowing me to do so in this way. I am at last at peace and I surrender my body, heart, mind, and spirit to you. In deepest love and gratitude, I give my life to you.”

Then I saw her. It was the Goddess Athena. She stepped out from behind a final turn in my path and stood before me in complete Love and Majesty.

“Arise, my dear. My Priestesses do not kneel upon the ground, but rather, stand tall in complete dignity and power.”

Your Priestesses? I questioned in my mind. What could she mean?

“If I have chosen you to be a representative of the Goddess, do you defy me by allowing doubt and insecurity to enter your heart?”

“Oh no, Goddess. I do not doubt you. I surrender my life to the service of you and the Truth that you represent. Of all the Goddesses to whom I have called, you have always touched my heart the most. I have had many dreams of meeting you and given many offerings to your sanctuary. To be your representative would be the greatest of all honor.”

“Would it be more important than having a husband, children, and a life outside of the Temple?”

“Yes, yes!” I spoke without a shred of doubt or confusion. “Now, a life of servitude to a husband and a family seemed unimportant when I could be of service to the Goddess. I lovingly and completely accept this opportunity.”

That is when the great Pallas Athena touched me. She took a wrap from behind the rock near which she stood. It was the color of moonbeams, and when it moved it reflected all the colors of the rainbow, and more. She came to me, and with her own hands, she draped it around my naked form and fastened it over my left shoulder with a silver pin shaped like an owl, the symbol of her wisdom. She then gave me this necklace that I still wear. She carefully placed the amethyst upon my heart and told me to always wear it.

My first thought was that I would damage this lovely garment in the murky water that I would have to cross to return. She smiled at me and said,”There is another way that is not filled with darkness and fear. Follow my light, Dear One, and the way shall open before you.”

I tried to bow before her, but she would not allow it.

“You are a representative of the Goddess; you bow before no one!”

With these final words, Pallas Athena again stepped behind the bend. When I looked after her, she was gone. However, her light was before me as well as her voice. I don’t know how long it took me to return, but the entire time that I followed her light, I heard her voice. She told me many Mysteries that I cannot share with anyone. When I was at last free of the maze, I found myself at the cavern where the Oracles gave their readings to the many who sought counsel.

In the center of the cavern was a large opening into the Heart of the Mother, Lady Gaia. No one knew how deep this orifice was. If one were to drop a rock into it, they would not hear it land upon the bottom. Sometimes a steam or vapor would rise from this opening, and sometimes it was very calm and still. There was a curved bridge which rose high above the orifice with a large chair placed over the very center of the opening to the Mother. At the time of the rising sun, the Priestesses would ascend via a ladder on the east side of the chair and, at sunset, descend via a ladder on the west side of the chair.

It was sacrilege to climb the curved ladder and to sit upon the golden chair of the Oracle without permission from the High Priestess. I did not care. The great Athena’s voice had instructed me to do so, and I would hear her voice above all external ones. I do not know how long I sat upon the chair, as neither time nor space limited my body. I traveled the inner galaxies and learned many lessons. When the High Priestess found me, she knew by my Light and attire that I had permission from sources higher than her own. I had passed the initiation that I was unaware I was taking, and I was a full-fledged Oracle of Delphi.

For many years, I served as an Oracle. We sat as Oracles only from the new Moon until the last day of the full Moon. Then, as the Moon began to wane into her darkness, we stood down from the chair and spent our days in self-reflection and service to others. The men who came to us wished us to serve them at all times, but we refused. We still held our power, as we were Priestesses and they could NOT make us do what we did not want to do. We were one of the last bastions of female power, and we knew it. We carried a heavy responsibility for all of womankind.

We would determine which of us would sit upon the chair by divining how each person’s biorhythm was synchronized with the Mother’s. We would check our star chart, use the pendulum, read the cards, or other methods. Zulia and I remained fast friends. We were no longer attached like children, but we were often together in our relaxing time and would help to determine each other’s biorhythm. Zulia was especially expert at reading the cards, whereas I was expert at the star charts. The doubt that had so plagued me in my early youth was gone from me. I felt completely fulfilled and at peace with my destiny. Then, one day, something happened.

Earlier that day when Zulia was reading my cards, she casually asked me if I was on the verge of a major decision. Suddenly, for the first time, I remembered the prophecy of my childhood. I also realized that I was just a few days from my twenty-fifth birthday. A deep terror struck my heart. The terror seemed so inappropriate to the situation that I said something inconsequential, abruptly fled the room and ran through the caves to the hidden valley. Each of the senior Priestesses had a certain area, which they had chosen to be just theirs, where they could find solitude and garden their herbs and flowers. When, at last, I was within the valley, I went to my special place to settle down and calm my heart and mind.

How could I have forgotten that I was to have a special challenge at this time, and why was I so terrified by it? I had mastered many portions of myself. How could I have left such a gap in my self-awareness? I tried to go inside, but my emotions were so strong that they closed the doorway to my heart. I had always found that working with the earth and plants of the Mother grounded me and allowed me to communicate more easily with the Goddess. Therefore, I picked up my small shovel and spade that I kept there. I took to my gardening with a passion, breaking off dead flowers and leaves, pulling unwanted plants, and harvesting and nurturing certain herbs or flowers in need. Before I knew it, the sun had moved significantly across the sky. Had I managed to hide from this issue again?

“No, my dear,” came a sweet and clear voice that I knew at once as the Goddess Pallas Athena. “You will not be able to hide from this challenge. You must not judge yourself or your decision. Plans were made at higher levels to which you have already consented. Listen with your heart now, and the way will be revealed to you.”

Then my Beloved Athena enveloped me in her essence and took me to those higher places that she had mentioned. When I returned to the physical world, the Sun was low in the sky. I did not remember all of where I had been, but I felt calm and confident. I still did not know what my challenge would be, or the decision I would make regarding it. However, I had dedicated my life to the service of the Goddess, and I would allow Her to show me my Path.

It was time to return to my everyday life and await my destiny. Night came quickly in our hidden valley, as it was completely surrounded by high mountains, but I was covered by dirt from my gardening. I changed my return route in order to cleanse myself in the clear pond at the South end of the valley. This part of the valley was off the regular pathway and was seldom used by anyone, as there were water supplies available to us at more convenient places. Also, I had greatly enjoyed my solitude and was still not quite ready to meet any of my Sisters.

I arrived at my isolated bathing spot, removed my soiled garment and entered the pond. The water was pure and gentle against my skin, and I took a long, luxurious bath. Finally, I arose from the water. Just as I was wrapping my gown about me, I heard what sounded like a groan. I followed the sound and, much to my surprise, saw a MAN lying in a pool of blood. I was at the very end of the valley and immediately next to the steep cliffs that descended sharply into the valley. I could see in the fading light that the man had fallen from the heights of the mountain down into our secret valley. What was I to do? No man must know of this place. But I certainly could not kill him or leave him to die. I pulled the unconscious man to the edge of the water and bathed his wounds, using torn portions of my gown to wrap them. As if the Goddess had known, some of the herbs that I had harvested were the exact ones that I needed at that moment to treat him. Luckily, he did not awaken before I had a chance to cover his eyes with more portions of my garment. He must not become aware of our valley.

I could only hope that he would not awaken before I could pull him into the cave. Maybe his injuries would be extreme enough for him to forget that he had fallen into our secret valley. We had been trained in moving ill and injured persons, as all of us were given at least some training in the arts of healing. I checked his body to see if his back or neck was injured. It appeared they were not among the many broken bones of his body. I would have to risk moving him. I could not leave him there because he was beginning to move in and out of consciousness. I wrapped the remains of my gown around his body like a sack, leaving free his arms. Putting my arms under his and across his torso, I dragged his unconscious body back to the cave.

He awakened before I reached the entrance of the cave, but did not have the strength to remove his blindfold. I lied to him about covering his eyes and said it was because of a head wound, and he was too foggy to care. He had received a bad blow to his head. By the looks of the dried blood on his body, he had been on the valley floor for many hours. I could only hope that he would not remember what he had seen.

Great excitement ensued when I dragged an injured man into the cave from the hidden valley. I was so exhausted that I practically dropped him as soon as I pulled him around the bend from the cave’s entrance. Instantly, there were many of my Sisters there to assist in transporting him to our Healing Quarters. There were many healers more qualified than I to care for him now. So why could I not forget him? Why did I find myself following them into the healing area, taking only a short moment to grab a new garment? The healers and I worked through the night to save the man. He had broken both legs and his left arm in three places. His head had been injured very badly. He was bleeding through his nose and tried to throw up even though his stomach was now completely empty. For three days we worked over the man. I was surprised to find that my healing skills had been under-emphasized. Perhaps this was the decision. Maybe I was to be a healer rather than an Oracle.

Later, I realized that I had made a big mistake in staying with the man so long. There is a saying that if you save someone’s life, they are beholden to you, but it happened the other way around for me. In becoming so involved in his healing, I created a disease in myself. Because Mikeal was a young, virile man, he healed amazingly quickly. He was the darling of the Healing Quarters, but, unfortunately, he had eyes only for me. I didn’t know why he fell so deeply in love with me. He couldn’t have known that I was the one who found him until someone told him. His love for me was something with which I did not know how to deal. I had made a decision long ago to dedicate my life to the service of the Mother and the Goddess Pallas Athena. But the love that came from Mikeal’s heart was causing me to again doubt my decision. I spent countless hours in front of Pallas Athena’s altar in contemplation. However, she did not speak to me. I had analyzed and gone over her few words in the valley many times and tried repeatedly to remember my experience in the higher planes with her. To no avail!

I realized that with every day I was thinking more and more of Mikeal. I began avoiding him, which only caused him to get on his crutches quicker in order to find me. If he had acted like a whipped puppy, I could have gotten over him. However, even balancing on crutches and pursuing me through the caverns inside our cave, he remained dignified and masculine. Finally, one day, he said that he would seek me out no more. If I wanted to see him, I knew where to find him. My heart was breaking as he hobbled away from me, perhaps forever. I wanted to run after him and follow him to the ends of the Earth. But I was strong. Or was I? My work began to suffer. My readings upon the chair became confusing and obscure and my other duties were carried out in a halfhearted manner. At last, the High Priestess called me for a private consultation.

“My dear Matia, do you think that a community of Oracles cannot see what is happening to you?”
I looked at her with an ignorance that only one who is lying to themselves can display.
“Beloved Goddess! Do you not even know what is wrong with you?”
I shook my head, hoping that the movement would not force my pent up tears to fall upon my face.
“My Dear,” she spoke, as she gently reached over to touch my hand. “You are in love with Mikeal.”
Hearing the truth that I had kept from myself for so long released the dam of tears. I fell to my knees before the High Priestess sobbing. She allowed me to place my head into her lap and gently stroked my hair while I cried out my pain and confusion.
Finally, when I could cry no more, I arose again to sit before her.
“What am I to do?” was all that I could say.
“Well, I know only that you are no good to us in this condition. Take some time to sort things out in your heart. Remember that the decision you make is one you will have to live with for a very long time, perhaps, for the rest of your life.”
I nodded and kissed the High Priestess’ Ring of Authority.
“Go now. I will speak with you when you have had some time to ponder your situation. Call to the Goddess, my dear. She knows much of love and will assist you if you allow it.”
When I left the High Priestess, I knew that I had to talk to Mikeal. I went to my Sleeping Quarters to refresh myself and change my gown. I found Mikeal, not in the Healing Quarters, but in the sunny fields behind them playing with a dog. He looked over at me as the small dog ran after the stick he had thrown. There was no surprise in his face. He knew that I would come to him!
“This is my dog. He led me to your valley and to you.”
I rushed to his side to silence him.
“Please, do not say that. We found you at the edge of the cliffs near our cave.”
“Why does everyone tell me that? I have said nothing, as I believe that a lie shared by so many must have a reason. I did not want to get you in trouble. Were you not supposed to be in that valley?”
“Why do you think that you were in a valley?” I hoped that I could still convince him of our lie.
“Dearest Matia, I remember the fall. My dog, who has found me again, had run after a small animal and had become trapped on a ledge near the top of the mountain. The climb was steep, but I was in good health, and I set out to rescue him. After I saved him from his predicament, I found that I was in one of my own. There was no way to go down from there so I had to go farther and farther up the cliff in order to return to the base of it. When I finally reached the top of the cliff, I found a beautiful valley on the other side. Unfortunately, I was so enamored with the view that I did not notice the loose shale beneath my feet.

“The drop was straight down. I did not know if the yell I heard in my ears was my dog or I. I hit the side of the hill several times before I finally passed out. At last, I awoke to find that the morning sun was now high in the sky and that I could not move. I could see the small pond close by, but I was only able to drag myself with my one remaining uninjured limb, to the shade of the bush under which you found me. I lay there, moving in and out of this world, until you came to my rescue. I was not surprised to look into your eyes as you leaned over me. I had been waiting for you the entire day.”

“What can you mean? I did not know that you were there until the moment that I found you,” I replied, forgetting to continue the lie that my sisters and I had agreed on.

Mikeal balanced himself on his crutches and, taking his one good arm, held my face in his powerful hand. Looking deep into my eyes, he said, “As I lay there on the edge of death, I heard your voice. I am coming. I am coming. You called to me over and over. What a sweet and pure voice, I mused, in my foggy mind and open heart. Only the Goddess herself could speak with such a voice. And then when you found me, you comforted me with that same voice. I did not know if I was in the Other World or this one, but it did not matter. I had found my Beloved.”

“No, No!” I cried, “It was the voice of the Goddess Pallas Athena. She had called me also. It was she whom you heard, not me. She brought me to that pond. She is the one you must love. I am not free. I am a Priestess. I am not to have a man in my life. I have dedicated myself totally to the Goddess.”

I realized that I was on the verge of hysteria. He put his strong arm around me and pulled me to his side. I leaned on him as he leaned on me.

“Perhaps it was the Goddess who called me,” he whispered in my ear, “but it was your voice that I heard!”

We walked, leaning against each other, to a small sheltered area underneath a huge tree which I had used many times to find solitude. We leaned against the tree together and gradually slipped down the trunk to the moist soil beneath it. We embraced each other in a love and passion that I had not known until that moment. Every thought left my mind. I don’t know how we made love with all of his wounds, but we did. And it was divine. I felt the Goddess within my Soul in a way that I never had before. And he was a God. Our auras blended into one, and, at the climax of our lovemaking, we journeyed off into the Higher Worlds together.

We awoke with the ground beneath us damp and cold. The Sun had fallen below the horizon. My Sisters would miss me, yet they would know what I had done. The decision that I had been unable to make in my mind was made in my heart. The next morning I went to the High Priestess and told her of my decision. Mikeal would be able to travel within another moon cycle. I would take the time to train others to take my place.

The next moon cycle was the most difficult time of my entire life. I was trapped between two worlds. I was not of his world, but I no longer fit in my own. I had told him that he must not share his story with anyone. I told him that the penalty for a man knowing of our valley was death, and that we would both die if they found out that he remembered. I made him swear that he would tell no one. He promised me that he would do nothing to endanger me or endanger that which I held so close to my Soul. I tried to tell myself that I was leaving with him to protect the secret of the valley. But deep down inside, I knew that I was really going with him because I loved him. And soon enough, I knew that I had to leave because I was with child. The passion of our first lovemaking was so strong that an awaiting soul could not miss the opportunity to enter a body created by such love.

I went about my work as usual. Mikeal and I met only occasionally. For me to be with a man while I was a Priestess would be sacrilege. We did not touch again with our bodies, but our souls were intertwined. I began to hear him talking to me telepathically, and he said that he also heard me. How could a man have such powers?

Zulia did not speak to me for two weeks, and I realized that I was avoiding her as well. How could I make her understand my feelings? I would not endanger her by telling her that Mikeal remembered the valley. Finally, she found me alone deep in the cave gathering the stored herbs to bring to the Healing Quarters. I could no longer be an Oracle, as my own thinking was too cloudy. Instead, I continued the expansion of my healing knowledge. Perhaps my inner self knew that I would have need for it in my new life. It appeared that our meeting was accidental, as Zulia seemed as surprised as I did. She turned to walk away, but I caught her arm and she turned on me like an angry mother cat.
“How can you do this?” she cried, with tears in her eyes.
I found that I had no answer to her question. I didn’t know how I could leave or even why I had to, except, of course, for the baby. But even that was not the reason. We knew how to terminate an unwanted pregnancy.
“I only know that I must. I cannot answer your question because I cannot answer my own. There is just something in my heart that is leading me.”
“I think that the guidance is not coming from your heart!” she retorted, with venom in her words.
“I know that I have hurt you and abandoned you in a most cruel way. I don’t expect that you will ever forgive me, nor will I forgive myself.”
My words softened her, and she embraced me as we had done since we were children.
Sobbing in each others arms, she said, “Dear Matia, I understand more than you may know. I, too, have known love but have not yet consecrated it.”
“Zulia, my Sister, when did this happen? I have been so absorbed with myself that I have not been your friend. Have you found it to be as challenging as I have?”
“I don’t know if he loves me in return. His name is Zoran. He works outside our cave assisting the ones who come to the Oracle. Our eyes have met for many months, but I have kept my heart in the lap of the Goddess. But now that you are leaving to follow your love, I am faced with a doubt that I was able to control before. I am sorry that I have neglected you in this time of your need. I, too, have become absorbed in my own problems.”
I smiled and kissed her warmly. “Dear Zulia, we are doing the same thing at the same time, again!”
We hugged, laughed and talked like girls for hours. What would the High Priestess have thought if she could have seen us? Zulia did not know if she would leave with her man, as she did not even know if he would ask her. But our love for each other was renewed. As we returned to our comradeship, I realized how much I had missed it in the last few weeks. How could I live the rest of my life without seeing her? That was when the sadness overtook me. Perhaps I had made the wrong decision. Perhaps I should stay in the life that I had so loved, rather than venturing out into the unknown.

Zulia gave me my answer. She was leaving. Zoran had indeed loved her and could no longer stay away from her. However, they were not as lucky as Mikeal and me. They were found in the act of making love in a Sacred Grove. Zulia was expelled from Delphi. At her hearing, I stood next to her and told them all that I, too, had been with a man. We were both expelled from the Order. I was angry, not for myself, but for Zulia. How could they have treated her so unjustly? Why was being with a man such an evil act? Did the Goddess not mate with men? Why then couldn’t her Priestesses? All the teachings that I had learned in the innocence of childhood were lost in the passion of adulthood. Zulia and I left on the same day. I was never to see her again.

I will now move the story of my life forward twenty-one years. My life with Mikeal was beautiful. We had disagreements, of course, the main one being my constant need to remind him of my power. He had not chosen a traditional woman to be his wife. He had chosen a Priestess, and I would not give up my power as easily as I had given up my body. Although, in order to protect his image as a “man,” I had to put on an act for those around us, secretly, we were equals. All of our decisions were made together, except for one.

It was a clear and warm day. We sat, as we had often done, on the huge patio that circled our glorious mountaintop home, having a slow, relaxing meal. We looked out across the ocean, as we had a thousand times, but the contentment that it usually gave me was gone. Life had changed much in the years since I had left Delphi. Now men were allowed to study the way of the Goddess and freely walked the secret valley with the women. I thought often of Delphi. I missed it more and more with each passing day. Perhaps it was because I had lived the life of a mother and wife for many years. I had borne ten children, and seven of them had lived. My last child was a daughter, Zulia, and she was now seven years old. I had named her that because my beloved Sister Zulia had died a year before my final pregnancy. Zoran had mortified her by taking a concubine, and Zulia had thrown herself off a cliff. I had seen it all in a dream, but it was not verified for almost a year. Zoran had tried to cover up his grief, but in the end, the guilt was too much for him and he, too, ended his life by taking poison.

The birth of my last child had almost killed me, or perhaps it was the knowledge of Zulia’s death that had done the deed. Either way, I had not been totally well for the last seven years. I had become somewhat of a local healer since I began my new life with my husband, and I used my knowledge and experience upon myself. However, within the last year, my health had taken a turn for the worse. I could still attend to most of my duties, and Mikeal and I still had a loving sexual relationship, but something was missing in my life. It took me much contemplation to realize that what was missing was Delphi. But how could I tell this to Mikeal? Thanks be to the Goddess, he was the one who told me. We had just finished our meal and the servants had cleared the table. We were having wine and watching the sunset. It was as glorious as ever.

“Even the Sun leaves the sky, as I fear, my Beloved, you must leave me.”
I was shocked at his perception of my truth. I shouldn’t have been. He knew me as well as I knew myself. I turned to him with fear and hope in my eyes. Would he understand?
“Of course, I understand you,” he answered my thoughts. “You miss Delphi. Since Zulia’s death you have not been the same, and your health has become increasingly poor. I fear that if I don’t lose you to the Goddess, I will lose you to death.”
I ran to him, and sitting on the ground before him, I threw my head into his lap. “Oh, my love, could you love me so much as to release me to my destiny?”

“My dear, I have already lost you. Now, I can either be loving or selfish. I choose now to return to you what you have always given to me – unconditional love. Perhaps in Delphi your health will recover. I read the letter that they sent you inviting your return. Please do not scorn me for invading your privacy, but I needed to know if they would take you before I released you. I have protected you for twenty-one years and I could not allow you to be disappointed. I was the one who first communicated with them, asking if they would allow their Priestesses to return now that they had changed so many rules. My only question is, what will be done with our daughter Zulia?”

“I will take her with me,” I said, hoping that I had not disclosed that I had also been thinking of returning. “Dear Mikeal, they allow men now. You can come with us.”

“No, dear. That is your life. I have mine here. I will, however, visit you as often as possible. I thank the Goddess for my many years with you. I must stay here to direct our older children and carry on the life that we have created.”

I know now that he was very concerned for my health. He was right, as usual. I died on my return trip to Delphi. As we climbed the final hill and I saw my beloved cave below, I realized that my life was leaving me. I pulled Zulia to my side. She looked at me with terror in her eyes.

“It is too late for me, my dearest daughter. I thought that I was bringing myself to this wonderful place, but it is you that the Goddess has called.”

Zulia put her arms around my neck and sobbed, “No, No, Mother. You cannot leave me. I need you to help me.”
“The Goddess is your mother, dear. She will help you now.”

With these final words, my Spirit left my body. Below me, I saw my daughter crying over my empty form. I also saw the Goddess behind her. Pallas Athena met with me in Her ethereal body.

“Thank you for bringing us our next High Priestess,” she said, as she escorted me HOME!

As I turned to follow Pallas Athena, I took a moment to fix my gaze upon my youngest child, Zulia. Pallas Athena had said that she was to be the next High Priestess of Delphi. But now she was a seven-year-old child, and she was crying over my abandoned clay form. But, wait, what was that misty presence I saw comforting her from the ethereal planes. Why it was my dear friend Zulia, but  NO–it was a higher portion my daughter. Then I understood my daughter was indeed the reincarnation of my friend Zulia. I had named her correctly. Now that I was free of the illusion of the physical plane, I remembered that when I was first pregnant, I had gone in my higher body to offer a new life for my friend.

“She was a suicide and has much karma to pay,” spoke the Council of Twelve. “If you take this Soul into your womb, you may damage your life force. You may even die.”

“I don’t care,” I said. “I have had a long and beautiful life. If I must, I can sacrifice it so that Zulia may have another chance. Besides, I am a healer. Perhaps I can heal us both.”

Well, it looked as though I did heal her. She was a strong, young girl and seemed to have a high destiny, if she could remain true to herself. She would be without a mother from a very young age, such as I had been.
I then turned to Pallas Athena, “May I say good bye to my husband and family?”

“Of course,” was her reply.

In an instant, I was in Mikeal’s and my home. It was the middle of the night, but my beloved husband was not asleep. He was sitting on top of our bed. He saw me instantly and ran to try to embrace my ethereal form.

“I stayed awake this evening because I knew you would come to me. I knew today, even before the messenger came, that you had died. I banished him from our home before he could finish his message, as if sending him away could bring you back. I have let you down, beloved. Perhaps if I had given more attention to you and less to our estate, your health would not have grown so grave”

He threw himself at my feet and begged my forgiveness. I laid my ethereal form down next to him so that I could wrap myself around him one more time. With my new body of light, I found I was completely flexible and could change my form at will. In fact, my shape molded to his instantly and then I remembered.
“Why you are the ONE! You are my Divine Complement!”

I expected surprise from him, but instead he calmly said, “Love of my life, I have always known that to be true. How will I exist now without you?”

“Oh, but, my dear, you shall never be without me. I shall live forever in your heart. When your time has come to leave this plane, I will join you again.”

For a long moment I merged into his form, and the two of us were one again. Then, I felt a pull on my consciousness, and I knew that I must leave. I drifted above him and left him sobbing on the floor of our room.
“He is strong” whispered Pallas Athena. “He will recover. There is much left for him to do.”
I went then to the beds of each of our other children and bade them good bye. Our two older sons were in the military far from home. Pallas Athena, in her grace, allowed me to visit them as well.
“Will any of them remember that I said good bye?” I asked.
“In time,” was her only reply.
(above from Reconstructing Reality by Suzan Caroll)

Beloved children of The Goddess,
I thank you from my heart for allowing me to share my story. I realized after my death that everyone in our community knew me as a healer, and people came from far and wide to receive healing of both the body and mind. For many years, I practiced all that I had learned in Delphi while I carried out the responsibilities of a home and a large family. However, I was unable to recognize that I had not sacrificed my commitment to the Goddess for the sake of being a wife and mother. The reality was that during my time as a wife and mother, I had learned even more about the unconditional love that I had felt from the Goddess Athena during my first initiation. While awaiting my reunion with my beloved Complement, Mikeal, I came to realize that Spirit knows no limitation and the love of the Mother embraces all life.

Both RaHoTep and I feel honored to relate our stories of our Sacred Initiation of Human Love with those who are now creating their own stories and initiations. I leave you now in the hands and hearts of the Arcturians, who are our ancestors and spiritual guides.

Matia

I opted not to go out, but could have. Instead I was at home in quiet meditation. Shortly before midnight I sat in my 6ft open-framed pyramid (my sacred space) and wrote a list of things I intend to accomplish and work on this year. I tucked it into the back of my 2010 diary to refer to throughout the year.

At midnight I was meditating and thinking of wonderful energies, thoughts & intentions for family, friends, civilization and the earth. Not long after that, I felt aware of a wonderful peacefulness settling over me.

It was a feeling of HOPE. It felt like it was representative of the people of the earth as a whole. I would venture to guess that many people, in their thoughts for the coming year had hopes and intentions for life to become more harmonious… and this is as simple as I can explain it and will leave it at that.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!  I wish all who read this a wonderous, JOYFUL,  BEAUTIFUL and prosperous year full of spiritual growth to boot!

NAMASTE